Imagine the start of your average day: trying to keep all the cups of your life filled at the same time: work, family, social life, health …
Between trying to get the kids ready for school, a quick jog, rushing to catch the bus or to avoid being stuck in traffic, preparing a presentation for work, planning a birthday party and rushing to that medical appointment, there is simply no space for a simple act of kindness.
And as with any unused muscle, we tend to ignore the absence of kindness in our life, or feel guilty for not using it.
— In the midst of ‘hectic’ there in no room for ‘kind’ —
So what? You may ask.
— Why is kindness that important? —
To answer this, I would invite you to ask yourself: when was the last time someone was kind of you?
And, when was the last time you were kind to someone else?
It may be helpful to note that by kind I refer to being intentionally gentle, affectionate, and helpful — not driven by any desire to gain explicit reward.
If you can identify that instance, can you recall what the response was? And then, can you retrace that moment and notice what you felt at the centre of your heart?
I think we all know the answer.
Kindness is sewn into the framework of our DNA: this warm, fulfilling after-effect of kindness, speaks to the core of our humane, benevolent nature, and is incredibly empowering (it may also explain why random acts of kindness always go viral on social media).
Being kind affects us by leaving the warmest lasting impression on both ourselves and the recipient of our kindness.
“People will forget what you said. People will forget what you did.
But people will never forget how you made them feel.”— Maya Angelou
— The invaluable impact of kindness is that
it affects us at an emotional level —
Think about what is the most important element that affects your personal wellness: how interactions with others makes you feel.
Then, think about what it would be like if more people had that effect on others. Think about the ripple effect: what would the world be like if everyone was kind?
In an alienated and unkind world, what difference would you make, would all of us make, by being kind?
The problem is that living hectic lives often has us focusing on ourselves and the needs of our immediate environment: family, friends, colleagues.
You may wonder: how can we use our depleted energy levels to help others when we barely manage to help ourselves and our loved ones?
— Being kind does not demand hard work —
If you really want to be kind, here are some thoughts:
You can start by just doing no harm. Think about all the times people have been unkind to you and make a conscious decision to never make others feel the same way.
A next step could be to express kindness by small acts that spring from the heart, and which won’t necessarily require much of your time:
Give a compliment to a stranger
Give your seat in a crowded bus
Choose not to pluck that flower
Smile at someone who looks sad, nod in understanding
Stop to assist someone who looks lost
Give someone a hug
Donate your old <phone, glasses>
Share your knowledge freely to those who may need it
Offer to babysit a neighbour’s child for free
As a final note
Kindness is fundamental to our personal growth: it increases self-esteem, promotes empathy and compassion, improves mood and helps improve our relationship with ourselves and others.
How does kindness feature in your life? Ask yourself:
What does a meaningful life mean to me?
What would I regret not doing at least once in my life?
What would I die for?
What am I most proud of?
Who is one person I can always count on?
If I could meet anyone in the world, who would it be?
What am I grateful for?
What does “spirit” or “energy”mean to me?
How do I feel when I look up at a starry night?
What does nature mean to me?
What are my biggest lessons in life?
What legacy do I want to create?
If you want to practise kindness, ask yourself:
What can I do?
Who needs help?
Who is looking for the same things?
If you would like to share your thoughts about kindness, we’d love to hear from you. Feel free to drop us a line at: info@emotionsreframed.com
