The Downsides of Perfectionism and How to Use it to Your Advantage
Perfectionism is the wish of an individual for everything to be or appear to be perfect. It is predominantly viewed as a positive trait rather than a flaw.
Unfortunately, being a perfectionist is often likely to result in stress, anxiety and burnout than to result in flawless results.
As a perfectionist, one sets extremely high standards for themselves in many areas of their lives: relationships, work, studies, and/or personal appearance.
The problem is that ‘perfection’ suggests a state of flawlessness which cannot be found in human beings.
Perfectionism makes tasks at hand often seem unattainable. An overwhelming task can feel paralysing when the goal is perfection.
That’s when people start procrastinating and focusing on other, more enjoyable, activities that are less overwhelming.
That’s when motivation is lost.
New evidence suggests that procrastination, a byproduct of perfectionism, doesn’t just hurt our work, it may also seriously impact our health.
Recent studies indicate that chronic procrastination may make people more vulnerable to serious health conditions, like cardiovascular disease and hypertension.
On closer examination, there is something quite concerning about perfectionism. Let’s take a close look at some of the cognitive distortions of the perfectionist:
— I must (should statements – fear of judgement)
— It’s my fault (personalisation and blame)
— I’m waiting for the perfect time (procrastination)
— I am not good enough (mental filter – basing identity on shortcomings)
— Speaking 4 languages is nothing really (discounting the positive)
If you are in a path of personal growth, unhealthy perfectionism and procrastination can negatively impact the process.
Still, is there any way you can turn an unhealthy habit into a healthy one? Can perfectionism become a valuable companion?
The answer is yes.
The 3 Most Important Steps to Turn Perfectionism Into a Friend
Self-awareness
Do you really need to spend hours to over polish the formatting of this spreadsheet?
By having an honest conversation with yourself, you can adapt the perfectionist tendencies that may be harming your well-being. You can make healthy choices and create strategies for alternative action.
Ask yourself what’s important: spending hours to decide which shade of blue font you are going to use? Will this benefit you more than delivering an accurately completed spreadsheet to your manager using the Excel’s default font colour?
Practise self-compassion
‘You shouldn’t have eaten so much; you should be skinnier. You’re useless’.
As a perfectionist, you are probably your worst critic. You may be compassionate to other people but never to yourself.
Your inner critic is the part of you that developed sometime between the age of 4 and 7. It forms beliefs that represented the values of the people interacting with you as a child.
Why not start to treat that part of yourself, the child, with more compassion? What does that child need now? What would you say to soothe a friend or your own child if they cannot stop binge eating?
Shift your mindset by small increments
‘Anything less than the best is unacceptable’ – ‘Asking for help makes me a failure’.
You hold rigid and unrelenting high standards: it’s all or nothing, black or white.
Perfectionism however is not a fixed state, it’s a way of being.
If you start viewing your perfectionism as a process, you can choose to focus on ways of improving your ‘imperfections’ in small increments, each day.
Be more flexible about your choices and you will manage to break the unhealthy patterns by exploring what works and what doesn’t work best for YOU.
Start with simple things, say, waking up tomorrow and telling yourself that you are good enough and there is no need to approach every email as a high-stakes scenario in which your client expects everything to be perfect on the first draft. These steps will help you focus on the aspects of your mindset that help you grow, instead of those that hold you back.
What About You?
Are you a perfectionist?
— If so, how does perfectionism affect your life?
— What are the challenges you are facing when you seek perfection?
— What are you procrastinating about that could be preventing you from reaching your goals?
— What are your coping mechanisms?
If you would like to share your thoughts about perfectionism, or your experience with it, we’d love to hear from you. Feel free to drop us a line at: info@emotionsreframed.com
REFERENCE: Behavioural Side of Procrastination
